Robes
by autumnmist715
Summary: Robes are lovely things. They can hide all manner of sins...


Robes are lovely things. They can hide all manner of sins…

olololo

'Hello, Harry Potter.'

'Oh! Um… Hello, Luna.'

'Why are you walking around the halls at this time of night? Don't you know the Hiffleburrs are out at this hour? You could be in danger… of losing your nose. And what a pity that would be. You have a very pretty nose, Harry Potter. Were you lured by the sound of the Jertles? They do seem to be exceptionally loud tonight.'

'Uh, no, Luna, I was just out for a stroll- couldn't sleep, ya know? And I'm not all that afraid of Jertles or Hiffleburrs. I've got my wand.'

'Well, that's good then. I think I should continue after the Flegwidge that just passed by; it may be the only time I ever get to study one up close.'

'All right. Have a good night.'

'Same to you, Harry Potter.'

'…'

_((footsteps fade))_

'…'

_Luna's voice drifts back to Harry…_ 'And Harry? I would advise you that next time you take a walk so late at night, you use your Invisibility Cloak instead of trying to hide it under your robe…'

'Drat.'

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'Ro-on…'

'Pansy?'

'Care to take a walk with me?'

'Um… well… I suppose.'

'You don't sound very enthusiastic about that, Ron.'

'Well, I don't know what you're going to do to me. Last time you said that, you dragged me away so that you could lecture me for trying to punch Malfoy.'

'And it was well deserved.'

'But you saw what he did!! He was… he was… ((sputter))'

'Get a hold of yourself. I could have attacked _her_, but I didn't and I showed restraint because she's your friend. Now why didn't you have the decency to try to show that same restraint to Draco? He's my friend.'

'Yes, but-'

'No but's.'

'((sigh))'

'Now. Come along. ((drag))'

'Wait! Where're we going!?'

'You'll see.'

'How I hate that line…'

_Several corridors and one left turn later…_

'Oh. My. Goodness.'

'I love it when you're speechless. And when you blush.'

'Pansy…'

'Like it?'

'…'

'I'll take that as a yes.'

'…'

'Oh, did I show you this?'

'…'

'Oh, Ron. I love coming up with new ways to amaze you and turn your face red. I wonder what happens if I do this…'

'Uh….'

'Or how about this?'

'((exhale))'

'Then again…'

'Pansy…'

'((grins)) Oh just kiss me, Ron.'

_((all becomes quiet and silence reigns… or at least for another thirty minutes…))_

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'Blaise!'

'Ginny.'

'Um… so what are you doing here? ((chuckles nervously))'

'((raises eyebrow)) This is the Quidditch pitch. I am a Quidditch player.'

'Hehe… yeah, that's right…'

'…'

'I think I'll just be going now…'

'What're you hiding?'

'Hiding? I'm not hiding anything! Nothing at all!'

'See, now I'm curious. You've aroused my curiosity.'

'Well, there's nothing to be curious about, so you needn't worry.'

'Hmm. That thing I just saw you hiding behind your back could be a number of things. Let's see… Is it a smutty romance novel?'

'Why would I be reading a smutty romance novel near the Quidditch pitch?'

'Because there are a lot of hot, sweaty, teenage male bodies riding brooms right above you?'

'You know, I'm a Quidditch player, too. Not all Quidditch players are guys.'

'So you like imagining things about the hot, sweaty, teenage _fe_males? I never thought it of you, Ginger, but I got to admit, it's kind of hot…'

'Eww… no, I was just pointing out a flaw in your logic. That's disgusting. You have a very perverted mind.'

'Hey, I was just askin'. What else could it be… A tin of Cockroach Clusters? A bag of Acid Pops?'

'Nope. Thanks, but I prefer plain, ol' dark chocolate.'

'I'll keep that in mind.'

'You do that. I'll be expecting some, then, for my birthday.'

'We'll see. Is it a girly magazine?'

'Why would I hide that?'

'I dunno. Don't they have pictures to go with that article Hottest at Hogwarts in there? I'm pretty sure I made top five, so if there's pics to show off these pecs…'

'Get over yourself, Zabini. You weren't Top 5.'

'Say what??'

'You were Top 3.'

'That's better.'

'And no, I don't have a copy with me right now so that you can admire yourself.'

'Darn.'

'Don't you want to know who else was in the Top 3?'

'Did they get rated higher than me?'

'Yes.'

'Then no, I don't want to hear it. It's damaging to my self esteem and self confidence.'

'Nothing can damage your self esteem or your self confidence, Zabini. What-ever.'

'Humph. So what _are_ you hiding behind your back? You know, if you don't tell me in ten seconds, I'm going to get it from you.'

'You totally just blew the element of surprise.'

'I don't need the element of surprise.'

'Well, that's arrogant of you.'

'No, it's a statement of fact. I'm taller than you, stronger than you, and it all ends with the fact that I have longer arms than you do.'

'As true as you wish all that were, I'm still going to forever be faster than you. And more sneaky.'

'_I'm_ more sneaky! I'm a Slytherin!'

'You're not sneaky.'

'Yes, I am!'

'No, you're not. You're soooo obvious, that even the Hufflepuff first years can figure out what you're up to. You're so not sneaky.'

'…'

'And your ten seconds are dead and gone.'

'Oh!... Hey, there's nothing behind your back… except for a very nice bum, that is.'

'((rolls eyes)) I told you you just blew the element of surprise. You'll never find what I had now…'

'That sounds like a challenge, Ginger.'

'Why do you insist on calling me Ginger? It's kind of annoying.'

'Your hair, dear.'

'Oh. For the longest time, I thought you were just getting my name wrong.'

'I know your name. And a whole lot else.'

'Really?'

'Really.'

'And where did you learn this 'whole lot else'?'

'Oh, places.'

'Hmm…'

'Where you going?'

'To find these 'places'.'

'But I haven't figured out what you were hiding yet! You can't leave!'

'Bye!!'

'Waiit!'

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'Graaaaanger. Graaaaaanger. It's time to wake up… You're not going to have time to get back to your room to change. Wake up, Granger.'

'Mmmmm.'

'Stretching like that is not going to get me back into bed.'

'How 'bout like this?...'

'… ((silence))… No. No, I won't do it. I won't, I won't, I won't! Granger, stop that!'

'What day is it, Malfoy?'

'Monday.'

'Mmm… already?'

'Yep, so get your lovely bottom out of my bed and back to your own common room.'

'But I don't wanna.'

'But you'll be late to Charms. You already missed breakfast, 'though I did save you a blueberry muffin.'

'Pumpkin juice?'

'I drank it.'

'Hey! Then what am I supposed to have with my muffin?'

'Well, it won't matter in about five minutes because then you'll be very, very late to Charms and you won't have time to eat.'

'I could always skip Charms and let you teach my charming self something…'

'… As tempting as that would be, I, too, have to get my lovely body to class.'

'Which happens to be the same class I'm supposed to be going to. Where you sit at the desk directly behind me. And where the teacher doesn't pay any attention to us at all because we're the best in the class. You couldn't wait ten minutes for me to get ready?'

'Granger. Today's the day we're supposed to show all the first years what they could be able to do by seventh year if they study hard enough, remember?'

'Oh duckie…'

'That's creative.'

'Shut up, shut up, shut up! I can't get ready and dressed and have my hair combed and teeth brushed in ((looks at clock)) two minutes and forty-eight seconds! Forty-seven, forty-six, forty-five, forty-fo-'

'Granger! Stop staring at the clock like it's about to breath fire at you, and get your butt moving! Let's go!'

'I'm moving, I'm moving!'

'…... Next time, make sure you're not tangled up in the sheets before trying to throw yourself off a bed…'

'You could have told me.'

'And how much fun would that have been?'

'It'd be a lot less painful.'

'Oh, stop rubbing your bum and… where's your clothes?'

'Didn't we leave them right th-… Duck fluff! Where're my clothes!?'

'Huh. It seems the house elves decided that since it's Monday morning and everyone's supposed to be in class, they'd do laundry and tidy things up. Betcha don't want to knit them all hats _now_, do you, Granger?'

'What am I going to _wear_!!'

'We-elllll… I guess you could sneak into the girls' dorm and borrow something of theirs…'

'And look like I'm advertising something very, very wrong!? No.'

'Then that leaves you only one choice.'

'Which would be?'

'Wear something of mine?'

'But all your clothes are so obviously yours! Who else has white silk shirts and black velveteen pants with dark green piping down the leg?'

'Does that mean you aren't going to borrow anything?'

'No, it means that I'm extremely glad our robes are so darn long that they cover up pretty much everything we wear underneath them!'

'Oh.'

'Yes. So. I want this and this and these… and this, just for the effect. Scooch over; I'm going to use a Shrinking Charm.'

'((backs up)) Yep, I definitely trust you, Granger, but I think there's a few things one really doesn't want shrunk. Be careful where you point that thing, Granger…'

'You wimp.'

'((outraged)) WIMP! _Draco Malfoy_ is no wimp! You're the one that would really suffer if you shrunk the wrong thing!'

'((laughs)) Okay, so how do I look?'

'((whistles)) That's the best my uniform has ever looked. And that's saying a lot.'

'Why, thank you. I think it looks pretty good. Fitted white silk shirt- Malfoy, I transfigured two of your boxers into underthings; why are all your boxers black and green, darn you?- Anyways. Fitted white silk shirt (that's very see-through on me… _Malfoy_), fitted black velveteen skirt with that darn green stripe down the side (and why did it shrink so _much_, Malfoy? It's _short_…), and Slytherin tie. It wouldn't change to Gryffindor. Why is that, mmm?'

'((grins lasciviously)) I may have helped you a bit in your transfiguration of my clothes…'

'MALFOY!'

'Come, my dear Granger, off we go to Charms. We should be late enough now that we can walk together.'

'We can only hope that this robe covers what I'm wearing… Ginny has eagle owl eyes…'

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Neville Longbottom snuck out of the portrait, looking furtively both ways. If Hogwarts had had a sound system, it would have been playing the James Bond theme song. With his arms, and especially his hands, tucked safely in his robes, the Gryffindor tiptoed carefully around the corridors of his school, sticking as closely as possible to the walls and shadows… Once inside his dormitory up in Gryffindor Tower, he heaved a deep sigh of relief and relaxed. What was Neville hiding?


End file.
